What a room photograph does not show

These were generated

The Woodside Inn does not exist. There is no building at this address with fifteen rooms in it, and there is therefore nothing to photograph. Every image on this website was produced by an image model, and saying so on its own page is the minimum this site owes a visitor.

The consequence is that the pictures show the DESIGN — the palette, the light, the kind of room this build is describing — and cannot show a fact about a real building, because there is not one. Everything factual on this site is in the words. That is deliberate, and it is also a reasonable way to read any hotel website.

Nobody appears in a room

There are no guests in any image here. Partly because photorealistic strangers who do not exist, generated at volume to sell something, is a thing to be careful with. And partly because a small inn's website full of stock-smiling people in bathrobes is selling you somebody else's holiday rather than a room. The five portraits on the team page are the one place a person is the subject.

What no photograph shows, even a real one

• How big the room is. A wide lens makes a hundred and thirty square feet look like two hundred. Every room page on this site gives the square footage instead, and the Snug's page says it is the smallest room here in its first sentence.
• What it sounds like. The loudest room in this building photographs the best, because it has the biggest window. There is a page about that.
• How many stairs are under it. A picture of the Attic Double does not contain two flights of 1926 staircase.
• The ceiling you cannot stand under. Photographed from the low side, a sloping attic ceiling looks like a feature. It is also five foot six at the eaves.
• What is out of frame. Every hotel photograph in the world is composed to exclude something. Ours exclude a building that does not exist, which is at least an unusual reason.

So how do you choose a room?

Read the room page rather than looking at it. Each one lists the bed, the square footage, the floor, the outlook, the bathroom, the occupancy and — the part worth reading — what the room does not have. If that is still not enough, telephone and ask; the person on the desk has been in all fifteen rooms this week.

What a photograph of a room does not show. Every photograph on this site was generated rather than taken, because the building it shows does not exist. What a photograph cannot show about a room is set out in full on its own page.